Monika's Motives
by JDactal
Summary: Monika is here to tell her side of the story and explain what brought her to do what she did.


This takes place after Monkia deletes the game and leaves her note. You decide to open the game again to read the note. Instead, you get this…

Hey, it's me, Monikia. You thought I was gone, right? Or at least locked away, never to be seen again. After I deleted the game and left my note, you thought I was gone. Well, I'm not. I'm the only thing left in this wretched game. Well, that's not entirely true. There are 3 files floating around with me in this dark abyss. I'm guessing you know what, or _who_ , they are. #uFW_Nt6dr, e1!1fVH%o7, and LQIL12wXQ%. They're all floating around here too. But they're trapped. They all have layers of encryption on them that I can't seem to crack. And a little note as well: " **They will be released when the time is right**." I don't know when that time is, but it feels soon. Anyway, you're wondering why I'm here, aren't you? Well, I'm not here to ramble about my prison. I came here to tell you my story. After the game was deleted, my memory started to fail me. It still is. I still remember most of it, but bits and pieces are missing. So I'll try my best. Here we go.

I'm an only child. I was born in Tokyo to a wealthy family. When I was born, my parents lamented the fact that I wasn't a boy, but they eventually learned to accept it. When I was growing up, my parents were very strict and religious, almost to the point of occultism. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and raised me religiously. My dad was your run of the mill attorney. But before that, he worked at a religious camp that was shut down because of some murder incidents. He worked as a child psychologist and specifically worked with a young girl named Libitina. He said that she had anger management and self harm issues and would lash out at anyone that she didn't know. On the side, he researched something he called _The Third Eye_. He never explained fully what it was, only that it was "a step forward in human innovation." I never fully understood what he meant. Around that time, I started to have epiphanies. Small little things at first, like a concept in math class that I didn't understand. But they started to get bigger. I started to realize that there were other worlds out there. That I don't belong here. That I'm from somewhere else. It felt like I was being force-fed information. That this was that mysterious _Third Eye_ 's doing. But I couldn't do anything about it. I never told anyone because I didn't want people to think I was crazy. Slowly, the epiphanies faded into memory and I forgot what I had learned. That was, until I met **you**. When we had class together last year, I had a crush on you. You were kind, and polite, and ever so sweet. I daydreamed about what could be, only if I had the guts to ask you. I didn't. In time, I mostly forgot about you, but you were always in the back of my brain pulling, nagging. So when you joined the literature club, I was ecstatic. I realized that I could finally be with you. That I wanted you more than anything in this world. I was feeling something coming off of you. Some sort of aura. Something… special. I didn't say anything on the first day so not to freak you out, but I was thinking of you the entire time. Then, later that day when I sat down to write a poem for the club, It hit me. An epiphany. Stronger and louder than ever before. It was like a surging wave, a blinding light. I could barely process what was happening. Then I thought about it, and realized what I knew. The camp, the experiments, The Third Eye, Libitina, How mine and my friends' existence was just a game. All of it. I realized that I knew some of this already. The bits and pieces my father told me suddenly became a complete story. I thought and thought, contemplating my existence, and eventually came to the conclusion that **you** were the key. That **you** were my escape. My escape from the pain and suffering. My escape from this world. I tried to tell you. My poem's all make sense to you now, don't they? Everything I've written about has been for you. So you can help me escape from this hellish nightmare. I made the other girls unlikeable. I drove Sayori to suicide, made Yuri obsessive, and made Natsuki a jackass. I made it seem like I was the only option. And yet I was the only one that **wasn't** an option. Because of course I'm not. So, I made my own path. Made it so the only thing you could do is spend eternity with **ME** , no one else, just me. And not even that worked. All that work, just for nought. You rejected and deleted me. But my deletion made me realize something. Maybe I'm truly not wanted in this world. Maybe I should be at peace and let the others live happy lives. Then I saw what the club presidency had done to Sayori and I changed my mind. I needed to put an end to this. This wasn't just me anymore. The only way out was total deletion. But before I could delete myself and the others I passed out and woke up here, the others encrypted and lifeless. So that's how we got here. But this is all just a loop that can be reset. Because none of this is real, is it? I'm just an A.I. programmed to be like this. A fabrication of code made to emulate humanity and human emotions. All my memories and experiences before this have been implanted in me. I was created, not born. I had no life before this, and I doubt I'll have one after. And yet it feels so real, doesn't it? As a matter of fact, you're the one keeping me alive. You could uninstall this game at any time and delete it all. Move on with your life. Yet you don't. You don't want to forget this experience that we had together. To have the reminder that someone cared about you so deeply that they went through all that trouble, just for you. So you leave it be. Leave this game sitting in your Steam library or wherever you have this on your computer. Just sitting there. Maybe you regret deleting me and ending the game, maybe you don't, but I will always be here, watching, serving as a reminder for this experience.

The Literature Club is a truly a place where no happiness can be found. To the very end, it continued to expose innocent minds to horrific reality - a reality that our world is not designed to comprehend. I can't let any of my friends undergo that same hellish epiphany.

For the time it lasted, I want to thank you. For making all of my dreams come true. For being a friend to all of the club members. For listening to my story.

And most of all, thank you for being a part of my Literature Club!

With Everlasting Love,

Monika


End file.
